Finding Yourself
It is said that the lobster when washed high and dry makes no effort to get back into the water, but waits for the sea to come to him. If it does, well and good; if it does not, he simply dies. There are literally thousands of men who complain that no one helps them, and who frown upon the success of others as due wholly to good luck or the influence of friends. The time spent in bemoaning their lot, if applied to honest endeavor, would yield splendid results and give them their proper place in the world. Such men have not found themselves.
There is another class of persons who are fairly successful, but work with their left hand. That is to say, they are at constant disadvantage because they have not learned to do their work in the best way. For example, a man may perform the duties of the day as an automaton, and, like a machine, wear out. As the years go by he becomes less and less valuable, and finally goes down under the general classification of failure. Or a man limits himself by the belief that he must be on a fixed salary, that he can not risk branching out for himself.
If reproached for his lack of ambition, his excuse is that all men cannot be principals, that some must fill the subordinate positions. This may be true, but he should not play “second fiddle” any longer than he must. There may be rare cases where a man has reached the limit of his lifting power, and there remains for him only the task of doing his particular work the best he can. But many others are conscious of not doing their best, not pressing forward to a higher place in the world, not using their powers as they should. These men have not yet found themselves.
There is still another class who live an artificial life, constantly striving to appear what they are not and never can be. The result is they do not find their real selves, and largely for lack of a little common sense. There is a false pride and a real pride. The right kind of pride is one of the greatest spurs to ambition. We see this illustrated in persons who are short in stature, or who are handicapped by some physical defect. In order to measure up to others, they will put forth Herculean efforts in other directions.
If Napoleon had been an inch taller he probably would never have been a great commander, for, as a writer says: “It was the nickname of ‘Little Corporal’ that probably first pricked the sides of his ambition, and stung him into that terrible activity which made all Europe tremble.” A man should give little thought to his weaknesses, but concentrate his time and energies upon the best that is in him.
The way to conquer difficulties is to wear them out by hard work. Let a man subject himself to severe self-analysis. Let him determine to be severely honest in this examination. If he really has limitations he should recognize them and keep within them. If he has unused powers, let him develop them. If he has defects that are holding him back, let him eradicate them. If he feels he is capable of greater things, let him attempt them.
The best school at last is the world, and the best teacher is one’s self. Any one who ever becomes four-fourths of a man must learn to think for himself. Teachers may guide him in an elementary way, but at length he is placed upon his own resources, and it is only then that his real development is possible. Of course many men are dependent all their lives. They want others to do all their “sums,” carry all their responsibilities, plan for them, work for them, and even suffer for them. These men never find themselves.
How readily a man is placed in the estimation of others. Here is one who is constantly joking, or talking about things of no importance. He is treated with indifference and even with discourtesy. He has placed himself low down in the social scale, and no one takes him seriously. Another man, perhaps with no greater natural abilities, is dignified in thought and bearing, has a high sense of his personal worth, and believes himself to be the equal of other men. Others do not dare to belittle him, for his manner instantly disarms any such intention. To this extent he has found himself, has taken his place among the world of men.
A strong motive is a compelling force in a man’s life. If he sets before him a high aim, and realizes what it will mean to attain it, he will probably bend every nerve to that one definite end. Such a man will make himself worthy of the respect of others. In his personal appearance, and thought, and conversation, he will instantly commend himself to others He will seek to develop judgment and far-sightedness.
He will be industrious. He will seek the counsel of other men. He will be guided by his intuition and conscience. When he believes a thing is right he will do it; when he knows a thing is wrong he will avoid it. He will make each day count toward his certain progress. He will find himself by discovering and developing all that is good and best in him. To such a man any reasonable achievement is possible.
Sir Thomas Buxton said, “The longer I live, the more I am certain that the great difference between men, between the great and the insignificant, is energy, invincible determination, an honest purpose once fixed, and then death or victory. This quality will do anything in the world; and no talents, no circumstances; will make a two-legged creature a man without it.” This has been the animating spirit of the world’s great men. This must be the ruling principle of any one who eventually finds himself.
“We have more force than will,” says La Eochefoucauld, “and it is often merely to excuse ourselves that we imagine certain things are impossible.” It is easier to let things take their course than to make a path for ourselves, easier to accept the opinions of others than patiently to formulate judgments of our own. But independence and self-reliance are essential elements of greatness.
A man must learn to do his own thinking and planning. Doctor Tilley in his inspiring book, “Masters of the Situation,” says: “Every man carries within himself to a great extent his own destiny. Undaunted will, unflinching energy, ever and everywhere make their mark and bring success. In business, who is the man who succeeds? The man who thinks clearly, who plans wisely, and executes promptly and with untiring energy.”
A man who is not getting on in the world as he should may well question himself thus:
What is it I lack to insure success?
Why have I not accomplished what I set out to do?
Wherein may I profit from my experience as well as that of others?
In what way can I better regulate my life?
Are there not larger and better ways to employ the abilities I have now? How can I set to work this very day to advance myself to higher things?
To what end does my present course lead?
Am I surely on the right road, and why am I sure? If I am not on the right road, what is the best way to get on it?
Am I improving my powers daily?
Am I fitting myself for larger usefulness?
These and similar questions will disclose a man to himself, show him his needs, indicate the proper course to pursue, lead him to find himself.
Procrastination will weaken the strongest resolution. The thing that is right to do to-day should be done to-day. Tomorrow a man may have lost his enthusiasm. To-day is the time to strike and to strike hard. No man willingly cares to be classified with the ne’er-do- wells, the non-producers, the shiftless and aimless, who are to be seen on every hand; yet thousands unthinkingly do not rise very far above this class for lack of proper ambition and diligence.
Max O’Eell, the French humorist, said: “Luck means rising at six o’clock in the morning; living on a dollar a day if you can earn two; minding your own business, and not meddling with other people’s. Luck means appointments you have never failed to keep; trains you have never failed to catch.”
Here is philosophy in a nutshell for the man who would make the most of his power and opportunities. Let him rise early in the day that he may have every advantage; let him exercise reasonable economy in order to become independent; let him meet every obligation promptly that his name may be a source of capital; above all else, let him keep constantly before his mind a lofty ambition to which he gives unceasing and energetic devotion.
Let every discouraged man remember that Washington lost more battles than he won, but out of his failures he organized success. Neither Demosthenes nor Webster, whose names are associated as the world’s two greatest orators, was a good speaker in his youth. In both cases an impediment spurred them to study oratory.
Hundreds of men might be cited who achieved distinction mainly because of obstacles to be overcome. Like Lord Chatham, they trampled upon impossibilities. “The battle is completely lost,” said an intrepid commander, “but it is only two o’clock, and we shall have time to gain another.” No matter how many times a man has failed in the battle of life, he may still hope for success if he can courageously say: “It is only two o’clock, and I shall win yet!”